I
was lying on my bed after a tiresome day of attending classes and club meeting every
third day of the week. Suddenly my cell phone rang, “Let me heal the world…” I
looked at and it was Namsel. I received the call, and she said, Hello! How are
you doing? ...and in the midst of our conversation she said, “I haven’t thought
that you would betray me, but its fine.” And in crossword I said, “The
situation forced me to do so, please don’t mind.” She replied with a rhetorical
question, “Do you remember the time you promised me that you would never leave
me?” I paused for a while but no words came in my mind to speak out, but the
resolution was showering of my mind in the couples of year back at high school
in Damphu. I voluntarily endured cold, famine, thirst and want of sleep, I
often worked harder than the most hard working students during the day and
night, and devoted to the study of chemistry, the theory of medicine and those
branches of physical science that kept me engaged all the time and I acquitted
myself to admiration.
I
felt my heart glow with an enthusiasm which elevated me to heaven, for nothing
contributes so much to tranquilize the mind as a steady purpose, a point on
which the soul truly fixed to the height of studying medicine abroad after
twelve.
The
season has been dreadfully severe where my blood froze in my veins, but I
spared those and fully dedicated myself to books. December approached and that
month for me became challenging where I have to heave all the theory and
practical of the last twelve years on the papers. I did my examinations with
full confidence, but not truly satisfied. Then it was time for us to depart
for winter holidays. All of us, my friends and mates were flooded with sorrow
at the departure, that the brightness of a beloved eye can have been
extinguished and the sound of the voice so familiar and dear to the ear, can be
hushed never more to be heard, “Bye bye” was our last words. All we have to do
is to wait for our BHSCE result.
I
now hasten to the more moving part of my story. The day of 16th
December tapped in and the darkness tapped on; I called my angel on date.
Namsel on hearing this word, she came hastily to me, when I saw her, I beheld a
countenance of angelic beauty and expression. Her hair, a shining raven black,
but gentle, although animated, her features of a regular proportion, and her
complexion wondrously fair, each cheek tinged with a lovely pink.
She
seemed ravished with delight when she saw me; every trait of sorrow vanished
from her face and it instantly expressed a degree of ecstatic joy. Her eyes
sparkled and her cheek flushed with pleasure. I held out her hand and conducted
to the ground. As we walked along the road towards the ground I tried kissing
her pinky cheeks, but she raised me, and embraced affectionately.
We
sat very closely underneath the huge tree and started conversing one’s feelings
and hopes of future. In the meanwhile, the black ground was covered with
herbage, stars of a pale radiance among the moonlit woods. I shall commit my
thoughts to paper, it is true; but that is the poor medium for the communication
of feeling. I desire the company of her who could sympathize with me, whose eye
would reply to mine. You may deem me romantic, but I bitterly wanted her, all
it is was the communication failure. It is impossible to communicate to you a
concept of the trembling sensation: half pleasurable and half fearful, with
which we were preparing to depart the next morning. “I love you desperately”
was her last word and I replied, “I love you too and I will never leave you”.
The time rang close to midnight while we dispose off together to the respective
room.
The
day of our departure at length arrived. I had taken leave of all my friends.
Tears gushed from the eyes of my cherub, she proceeded partly from sorrow at my
departure, but there were no solutions. She had to leave to Thimphu and I need
to head towards my destiny.
I
conducted to my dwelling and mate my family and I was constantly employed out
of doors and my family in various laborious occupations within. The days and
nights quickly shut in; to my extreme wonder I found that BHSEC has been
declared via internet. To my utter surprise my marks were all below the
expectations ranging at 60s. Even though, I got selected in Sherubtse College for
studying Bachelors in Dzongkha and English, I had a pain of not being able to
go abroad. But my friends and family were really appreciative of me for the
conduct.
There
was another twenty weeks credit for the college admission and I had these
monotonous months to be erased doing laborious occupation including outdoor
tasks of which I opted painting most of the time for earning and passing time.
The
length of the day arrived for my departure towards the college at Kanglung. I
was going to the unexplored regions so far beyond my town. The next day, early
in the morning, I departed. Tears gushed from the eyes of my mother and my
sister. I threw myself into the chaise that was to convey me away not for war,
but for learning was what I consoled. I, who had ever been surrounded by
amiable companions, continually engaged in endeavoring to bestow mutual
pleasure, I was now alone.
In
the university college, whither I was going, I must form my own friends, and to
be my own protector. My life had hitherto been remarkably secluded and
domestic; and this had given me invincible repugnance to new countenances. Such
were my reflections as I commenced my journey; but I proceeded, my spirits and
hopes rose. I ardently desired the acquisitions of knowledge and often about
love experience at college.
I
have already reached very high latitude; but it is the height of summer, and
although not so warm, I breathe a degree of renovating warmth. Not so heavy
heaven showered down blessing on us while I was proceeding forward towards the
destiny by bus. A low steeple of the town met my eyes and a high steep slopes
and green mountains half raised by the clouds through my journey towards
Kanglung.
At
length the high white steeple and a leveled castle of clock tower of the
college met my eyes. I alighted and was conducted to my solitary apartment, to spend
the night as I pleased.
Who
would believe that a nerd like me can ever fall in love? It was not that I did
not saw her before, but at that time we were unknown. It was late dusk when we
had the very first conversation. She looked just wonderful and simply took my
breath away with every step she took. She had been so conservative with her
look.
Now,
suddenly I felt a strange feeling asking in me and all I could think, see and
hear was of her only. It was love at first sight. I couldn’t ask for help. I did
not confess my love for her though my heart ached to tell her the truth, but
she also loved me desperately. I spared my girlfriend for the new one and she
left her boyfriend too who are far away from the college. We went for a walk
every evening and the love had grown to the height of Arctic Ocean. We had lots
of fun and laughter but there was a cry from the two despite we did turned them
a deaf ear.
Our
love grew every day experiencing the height of all happiness, losing all depth
of despair and the sky remained blue every time. A semester ran like a shooting
star and we departed for holidays, bathed in tears. I reached home and missed
her badly and I called her, but she never responded to the call. I never learnt
the reason for it, whereupon; I got a message which interpreted:
“Hi
Ugyen, hope u are doing good and I am also fine,
But, sorry to say that you don’t have to call me again
And spend a lot, because I don’t want to be in relation…
Sorry…take care”
My
mind became blind and could not hold my heart tight, I just lied on the bed
with all my eyes flooded and pillow wet thinking of the past bygone days. Every
hope of mine crushed and memories faded never to return. Sorrows and depression
rained on my life with my head never to rise up, I became a fish on the dry
pond.
I rose up from my bed and realized the pain
given to Namsel after Yethro went out of sight from me. Now I am saturated with
love and knew the karmic love; lay jum dray.
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